Relationships

Ever wondered if you are a Man (or Woman) why you just cannot fathom the behavior of the other sex, especially during crucial times. Right when you think you have understood your friend /Siblings / colleagues (esp. of opposite sex) they completely act in a unexpected manner, destroying your hopes and you are left wondering where this relationship is going?

 

Ever since Eve took a bite at the apple in the Garden Eden, the relationship between Man and Woman just got weird and more ‘complex’. Even though Man and Woman have lived together for thousands of years together, looks like they are constantly involved in learning about each other. For a Man to better understand another Woman is the most difficult task and Vice versa. Why is the Man – Woman relationship such an enigma. The international space agencies have successfully sent probes to distant planets / moons to map their surface, cant they create two miniature probes to map the surface and internal workings of the heart of man and woman respectively. Why is there so much confusion and commotion in a relationship when the opposite sexes are involved.  Sometimes we wish there was some sought of guide in the open market or holy man who can help us in understanding the opposite sex. When a boy and girl have a casual friendship their world is very happy. The trouble starts when the start navigating from the initial friendship / courtship  period. All the emotional problems suddenly descend upon them creating havoc and causing long term damage in their little hearts. The root cause EXPECTATION. Once we start to expect something from the opposite sex, we have just rolled out the biggest red carpet for the troubles / misunderstandings to walk right royally into our life.

 

Every man’s objective is to impress upon each and every woman he is coming across in his life. Every Woman’s primary objective is to ensure that man who can help further her capabilities / abilities by providing adequate security (emotional / physical)  will be permitted to have friendship with her. Those men who don’t pass this criteria are mercilessly rejected. If this revelation is shocking to you, let’s me explain. Although we(mankind) has invented many things, formulated new thesis about human behavior we are still descendants of nomadic people who had survived the harsh climatic conditions and fended off the natural threats against their very survival. The knowledge / wisdom gained from one generation is successfully transmitted to the next generation via DNA. So at the core we are  still social animals. Our innate animal like emotions / feelings are being suppressed in the modern age in the name civility and decency, just waiting for a chance to come out and remind us of our past. Similar to the genie in the famous Aladdin story.

 

Ok, back to the main story. A man’s dedicated focus in any relationship with the opposite sex stops the moment he realizes that he has been granted access to the girldom. By this time he would have spent enormous amount of time and effort in understanding the girl at the superficial level and also trying to make her understand that he is the guy with the right credentials. But the girl is aware somehow all the actions performed; words spoken during the courtship period is not necessarily 100% genuine. After the courtship period she wants to know more in depth about the guy, but our guy is busy either celebrating this success or doing something else. Can’t we predict that a perfect storm is getting formed somewhere.

 

Don’t get disheartened by thinking that there isn’t a easy way to have a successful relationship with the opposite sex. Yes there is. Phew!!! Thanks for wiping the sweat brows from my forehead, for a moment I thought boy – girl relationship can never be void of any problems. If you have ever driven a vehicle in the Indian road, you already know the solution. While driving on the Indian roads it is the sole responsibility of the driver of the vehicle to ensure that he doesn’t get him/her self involved in any accident. Irrespective of how the fellow drivers are driving their vehicle or how a pedestrian is suddenly crossing the road, or if your god fairy / yamaraj (cow / buffalo) suddenly decides to pay you a surprise blessing visit, as a responsible driver we have to take reflexive action to sway away from their paths. The eternal truth in driving on Indian roads is that don’t take any moving object for granted, we can never extrapolate their movement trajectory.

 

In the similar manner in our relationship with the opposite sex, don’t ever assume or take them for granted. Each and every day is a new day, people change their preferences / perception based on their interaction with this world.

 

Guys, for girls things don’t change that easily unless there is compulsive evidence. There is nothing greater in this world other than demonstrating to our beloved ones that we constantly care about them. No one is expecting costly gifts like diamond necklace, fancy dress, cars etc but want the other heart wants to know is that you are constantly caring about them. Simple act of appreciating their choice of dress, spending exclusively time with them, helping the girls in their daily chores, accompanying and actively involved in deciding which dress or ornaments to buy, giving small pleasant surprises etc will ensure your relationship is based on strong foundation rather than a eroding foundation.

 

Girls, guys mind is very fickle. Even he doesn’t know what he is thinking inside, most of the time he will look lost. That is because he is always focused on the future wondering how to better this relationship forgetting in the same time that there is a ‘present’ now. Very rarely do you see a boy / man cry or worry out aloud in front of the opposite sex blame it on cultural affiliation. The only time he drops his guard is when he is with his friend. So don’t make it an issue when he hangs out with other guys, that is the only time he happens to be himself.

 

Understand that a relation has to grow, overnight we can’t have a banyan tree to be fully grown. Just because he / she has becomes your friend it doesn’t mean he / she has to behave in the manner you like. Respect the individual for what he / she is, this respect will solve many of the problems, since most of the time we want our friends / partners to behave in a manner in accordance to our wishes and we want to them a partial clone of us.